Thursday, October 11, 2012

Goodbye, Farewelllll.

Last week was my very last week at Parker Real Estate. It didn't really hit me until Friday. I was packing up my stuff in a box.... all the Hello Kitty stuff was gone and it looked like a Blahhh desk when I was finished. They through me a Hello Kitty going away party. Equipped with a Hello Kitty bubble blower, pink zebra cake, HK napkins & plates, and pink boas. Felt like a little kid's party... but heyyy.. I'm down with HK. =]

 
I spent Friday night packing up all my stuff. I was just going to pack up my shoes and my dresser but mom and dad got in on the packing and helped me pack up the rest of the closet. Which pretty much filled up my entire car and Derrick's entire truck... even the back of it.

This is just my hang up clothes...
 
The whole fam jam went to Hard Dock Saturday night for a farewell dinner and drink.
 
 
 
 Derrick's mom bought me a pretty sweet Hello Kitty watch. (This one is similar)
 
 

I started my new job in Auburn.
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It's about a 30 minute drive from Beulah, AL. Learning new thing is stressful. Being the new person always sucks because I am bound to screw something up. I hate making mistakes. 
 
 I don't get to see Derrick much... maybe 20 minutes of the day. He's on second shift so he doesn't get home until about 10. He gets up in the morning with me and makes me breakfast (cereal or PB&J), then walks me to my car.  My job now is way more high paced then working at Parker so I don't get very much down time. I text Derrick before he goes in to work around 1 and then talk to him about 5:30 on his lunch break. I'm usually in the bed by the time he gets home. 20 minutes everyday is way better than not seeing him at all.
 
This is all of Derrick's groceries....
 
and this is how he attempts to fix his "lack of groceries" issue...
 
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I think we need to work on "living together as a married couple" not as "roomies". What you can't see is that I say, "Can't I just make you a list?"  tisk tisk... smh. It's a work in progress.. lol!
 
 

We've got some huge decisions to make pretty soon. At this point, nothing scares me... I'm pretty much ready for it all. 
 
 


Thursday, September 13, 2012

Home is wherever I'm with you.

I. Am. Moving.

There is nothing that can prepare me for this transition. It's SO bittersweet for me. I feel like I have a family at Parker Real Estate and I'm going to miss all my friends. I am scared... but I am happy! I wanted Derrick to get a job at home so bad it's not even funny. Derrick is still going to try to find a job in Decatur, if he does, then I'll just follow him...but right now, this will be good for us. A time to learn about each other in a whole new way, I mean after all, when we do see each other it's like a vacation.

We're going to have to learn to fight...face to face. We can't just hang up on each other anymore. It's very seldom when we fight, but when we do it's usually because Derrick just woke up. He is a very angry grizzly bear the first 30 minutes of waking up.

I'm about to invade Derrick's space. ALL OF IT. I hate the way he leaves everything out on the bathroom counter and he hates how I put all of HIS stuff in a drawer.

I don't like to eat cereal and sandwiches every day of my life... he does (I think because he doesn't know how to make anything else).

Mom and Dad are thankfully going to watch the animals for a few weeks until Derrick and I can get accommodated.

I also have to throw myself into a new job immediately. My last day at Parker Real Estate is next Friday and I start my new job that following Monday. Ehhhhh.

Derrick gets to come home that weekend so maybe he can help me pack my clothes. I'm not taking anything else with me yet. Derrick still has a roommate. There is no sense in me bringing furniture if I don't know where to put it. I have to admit though, my bed is way more comfy than Derrick's. I want my girly room back. Derrick has ducks everywhere. Wahh.

It really hasn't hit me hard yet that I'm about to pack up and leave everything I know to start a new life... WITH my husband. I think Derrick is scared too... he just doesn't say it. I think it would be a lot easier if Derrick and I had a little more of a stronger support system. Yes, everyone wants us to live together, but Nooo, nobody wants me to move down there. What is everyone afraid of? That we won't come back? It's not making this transition any easier for us.

I know it's not the easiest solution to our logistical issue, but God has opened a door for me, and I'm not about to shut it. It's great to have a whole nice pretty fool proof plan worked out, but God likes to make his interruptions.  I can't wait to wake up every morning by his side and not worry about how much time we have left together before one of us has to leave. Being TOGETHER is all that matters, isn't that how marriage is supposed to be?

Monday, September 10, 2012

Forgive, because it feels good.

I confess I’m the type of person to sometimes hold a grudge. It’s not that I want power over people, which is often the motive for holding a grudge, it’s just that I want all-due glory for my suffering. What I mean is, if somebody is causing me some pain, I want them to know I am bearing it for them. For this reason, it’s hard for me to forgive my enemies. If people slam me on the internet, it’s hard to forgive. If people hate me for no given reason, it’s hard to forgive, too. And for so long it seemed there was nothing I could do about it. I knew I’d be better off to forgive, but how? What are the steps to controlling your uncontrollable emotions?

I don’t fully know the answer to that question. Part of the reason it’s so hard to forgive is pride. If I forgive, it feels like I’m also saying they had the right to do me wrong. That doesn’t feel right. But it’s a real feeling. And also, if I’m having to forgive somebody who really has no idea what they did that was wrong, which is even more difficult, because you are doing the hard work of forgiving them and they have no idea they wronged you, or worse, they don’t honestly care. So why forgive?

Before I say why, I should say how. Here’s how:
Go through the stages of grief. Let the offense shock you, then let it completely hurt you. Don’t avoid the pain. Sit with it and feel it no matter how unbearable it is. Please know it will end in time. It will get 2% easier every day. Just feel it like a toothache and soon enough it will transition into something bearable.

Then let the offense make you angry. Don’t lash out or you’ll be guilty yourself. Talk about it with trusted friends but confess you’re angry and your emotions aren’t under control. And don’t feel bad for being angry. The last thing you need is anger and shame. Just punch a pillow and make it through. The anger, like the pain, will lessen over time.


Then after being angry, accept what has been done. Just accept it as a fact and don’t over analyze it. It happened. This will still be shocking at first, but in time, you will accept it as a fact that you can’t change.

From there, you’re at a place to forgive. It will be hard work, but it’s worth it. Sit and pray for the person you’ve been hating. Sit and imagine them with a good life, them coming to realize that what they did was wrong, maybe not to you, but to somebody, perhaps to God. Then be willing to love them in your heart. Want the best for them. Hope for the best for them. Stop praying for God to destroy them and pray for God to bless them. Pray for God to open up their hearts so they can receive the love that will stop them from hurting others. This is the only way I know how to forgive.

Why should we forgive? Well, there are many reasons, but I’m only going to focus on a few.
• The first is because, believe it or not, forgiveness is a pleasurable experience. No kidding, it feels much better than anger or hate. God has designed forgiveness as a powerful blessing for those who have been hurt. The experience of truly forgiving somebody can make you more happy than if you’d never been hurt in the first place.

• The second reason for you to forgive is that it removes you from being entangled in the rather dark thing that hurt you in the first place. If it was a family member talking behind your back, you get to remove yourself completely from all the complications of gossip. Forgiveness sets you free from being bogged down in knee-deep mud. Forgiveness gives you a taste of what it feels like to be God, and it’s a terrific feeling. God forgave us because it gave Him pleasure to do so. He was happy to do so. Love forgives, and so does God, and so can you.

• The third reason to forgive is that you open yourself up to amazing possibilities for a happy life. When you don’t forgive, you draw the curtains in your soul and your life gets dark. When you forgive you let the light in again, and you go on about your life in peace. And don’t you want some peace? Isn’t it time for some peace?

• The greatest thing about forgiveness is it will allow you to love again. It will allow you to love and be loved. And believe me, it’s worth it. Forgiveness is tough, for sure, but love is infinitely more valuable than the pain of forgiveness costs. No matter what you have to go through to forgive, you’re getting a steal of a deal to be able to love and be loved again. Pay the price and I promise you’ll be
happy you did.
 --------------------------------------------------------------------

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Perks of a Long Distance Marriage...

Let’s talk about the perks of a long-distance marriage, shall we?


  • There’s No Fashion Police! I can wear whatever I want!! Sweatpants, Uggs, garter-belts, Snuggies, leotards, hammer pants, overalls, or nothing at all! You can’t do that with a husband around (especially hammer pants!) without them thinking you’re a weirdo. Its a special kind of luxury that I shouldn’t take for granted. Plus, You never have to worry about how awful you look when you wake up, since no one else is going to see you.


  • You can still harbor some of your secret single behavior that you hide around your significant other for fear of judgement (like drinking bottles of wine and watching lifetime movies, honey boo boo, or teen mom... by myself).
  • You don’t have to fight for the shower first thing in the morning.
  • You get full control of the remote and TV.
  • You can stay up as late as needed reading, writing, working, or dancing around in your underwear without worrying about waking someone up or hearing “Aren’t you going to sleep yet?”  
  • Staying up all night.
  • Examining your pores nightly in a mirror.
  • Coming home late at night and attempting to cook things.
  • Never closing the bathroom door.
  • Talking to your cat. 
  • Never eating actual proper meals. Small bag of Doritos for dinner, why not?
  • Being weird.
Whenever I think about all the people in a long distance marriage living alone, a question comes up:

What if those weird couples living alone become so set in their bizarre behaviors that they can never live with someone, you know, properly?  But I doubt they'll change all of their "quirky" habits then, nor should they really have to. People are weird. I am weird. Living with someone else isn't going to change that. In fact, I can't wait until Derrick just sees how weird I actually am.

Feel free to comment... I would just love to know what you think. =]

Reasons why living alone... SUCKS.

How do we make our long distance marriage work? One day at a time. There's a lot of people who question how Derrick and I do this. You have to understand that this is considered "normal" for us. We don't know any different. Those short 10 months we actually lived in the same city together was an eye opener. I loved it. We watched TV together, cooked dinner together, folded clothes together, went shopping together... are you seeing the word trend?? TOGETHER. D and I were pretty much inseparable, well except for hunting season... if I wanted to see him I had to go too. Now that we are living apart, I find a new reason everyday on why we should live together. For example:

My garbage disposal clogged up and it smelled like a rotten mess.-- called a plumber who was nice enough to do it for $50 bucks.
My cat brought in a dead chipmunk.-- I fished it out from underneath the dryer.
My cable box broke and I couldn't get the stupid thing out of the entertainment center nor knew how to set the stupid thing up.-- I spent 2 hours getting it out and scratched the thing to death, waited for D to get home. haha
My tire was low on air.-- waited for Derrick again.
My closet fell down.-- Thank God daddy was in town.
My dog was extremely sick and pooped everywhereeeeeee.-- called my trusty God dog parents.
I couldn't find my strapless bra anywhere and Derrick can find anything within the first 2 places he looks.-- waited for Derrick to find it.
My vacuum ate the cord and stripped the wire coating and I had exposed wires sticking out. -- I fixed this, GO ME!
My bed frame broke.-- it's still broken.
I needed to drop the car off at the shop and didn't have anyone to pick me up.-- called madre and padre.
My garage down opener quit working. --went to Lowe's to get new batteries, still didn't work, waited for Derrick again.

Now, wouldn't it just be awesome to have my husband home to help me? I hate asking anyone for help. 1. Nobody likes doing favors. 2. I don't want to inconvenience anyone. 3. I'll just figure it out. You know... I wonder if Derrick has a list of stuff he needs help with?? I know he only eats ham sandwiches and cereal and I had to pretty much teach him how to make Velveeta mac & cheese. I should probably ask him...

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

I can SEE clearly now...


For starters... I have yet to figure out why my pictures in my older blog posts aren't showing up. =[

Since the last time I blogged.. I got new eyes, or vision really. I can wake up every morning and see! My eyes still get tired at night and right before I turn to go to bed I still act like I have to take my contacts out. All I do now is put my drops in and go to bed =] It's beauuutiful. Nights alone aren't near as scary anymore because I can open my eyes and see everything!

One of my best friends that lives in Auburn took me to get my lasik done, she went to work while I was getting all my tests run on my eyes. The doctor said my vision is the worst he's seen in a while... EEeekkk. I called Britni right before it was time to have the surgery so she can come and be there with me. She got to watch the entire thing close up on a TV. EWWW! I refused to watch videos of it being done because I was already wigged out about enough.. especially not having anyone there with me the entire time because mom and dad left to go back to work and Derrick also had to work that day--he just so happened to be on first shift and couldn't take me =[.

 It was probably the longest six minutes of my life.

They put this paper clip looking contraption on your eye to keep your eyelids open. Then put this suction cup thing on your eye to keep it still. Then while they are cutting the flap... everything goes black. I'm talking like hyperventilating.. OMG. Then you slowly start to see again and the laser starts.. it starts flashing.. it makes a loud popping noise and it smells like burnt hair. SICK.

I found this illustration online, I would rather use this cartoon generated looking one then the actual eyeball one.. it looks disgusting. I could never be a nurse or doctor or anything that has to do with body parts. I got up out of the chair--walked out-- grabbed my purse and was headed out the door. Everything was realllllly realllllly blurry.  Britni and I grabbed lunch at Zaxby's then I went home and took a nap. I woke up about the time Derrick got home from work and I could see! I can't see at night.. my vision looks like this.. They are called star bursts and halos.
Yes those are headlights.. and No, I am not stepping foot in my car at night. The doctor said to give it about 3 months and I should be able to see normal again. It took me about a week and a half to be able to read or see the computer really well. But I can see awesome, other than that! It's like I have my contacts in! I recommend this to anybody who is thinking about Lasik but is toooo scared. It's not that bad at all. It's the fear and the anxiety of it all that got to me. It didn't hurt not one bit. Just felt like your pupils were dilated... because they were, Ha! I went to Hollis Lasik in Auburn. They were running a special for $595 an eye so I couldn't pass that up.
 
My last day to wear glasses.. EVER! =] 

Monday, July 16, 2012

Everyone of your disappointments is your appointment with God.


I can't believe it's been one year already.

One year ago, I was way more confident. I haven't suffered all of the disappointments and the setbacks we've entailed. Just look at last year's blog... http://jannybank.blogspot.com/2011/07/running-to-jesus.html

We haven't figured anything out... everything is still. the. same. Moving without a job... is just scary. We can say that I will move soon all day long, but I want to find a place for just the two of us to live. We WILL have a place TOGETHER before Christmas. I refuse to spend the holidays apart.

I haven't really been myself lately... toooo much disappointment in short period of time. I haven't really returned any phone calls to people because basically... I just don't feel like repeating and reliving this story until I have something positive to say. Here lately, I have cried. A lot.

As a believer in Jesus Christ, I am called to live a bold, confident and overcoming life. I don't have to live under a burden of fear. I don't have to live with anxiety. Because of Jesus, fear, worry, and uncertainty are beneath me. Righteousness is God's way of doing things. When I do things His way, when I am submitted to His plan for my life, He promises success. It may not always be the way I had in mind, but ultimately, His plan is to prosper me, not to harm me, to give me a hope and a future. When I rise up in faith knowing that God is with me and for me, all doubt and fear has to leave my life. Today, I will begin to declare God's truth over my life which will set me free!

Easier said... than done.



On a more positive note... I went to visit Derrick last weekend, and we had some fun! We took sweet Bama for a swim at the lake.







Derrick and I found this awesome old building with a nice little waterfall. We walked around the property and it was just beautiful. It was a tad bit muddy from the thunderstorm the night before.













He was a very tired bear when we got home.

I came back to Decatur after the weekend to a very sweet gift from our sweet Aunt Gayle. Aren't these just the cutest kitchen towels? They are just too pretty to use!



This weekend was pretty lazy! Dustin, Louie and I went fleamarketing in Cullman.

Photo: Giant Stacky toy!

I found another matching piece to my vintage suitcase collection. I use the suitcases to put all my wedding stuff in.  As I was reorganizing my wedding stuff, I realized I haven't finished my wedding book. It was almost impossible to write in it with this pen... and this cat.



We also went to TJMaxx in Cullman, which is by far the best TJMaxx I've ever been too. I found the cutest Jessica Simpson dress and Jessica Simpson pumps.. on clearance!!




Sunday was a complete breeze... I refused to answer my phone to anyone and refused to put makeup on and go anywhere. My car never left the garage alllll weekend. Here's a picture of an example of what I did all weekend...





Monday, July 2, 2012

Beach Vacation

Photo

Derrick and I had a fabulous long vacation. I got to spend the night with one of my best friends, Summer, the Friday night after work in Montgomery. Derrick and I met in Montgomery Saturday morning and drove down to the beach together. It was pourrring when we got down there. As soon as we got down there we noticed someone had an "uh ohhh" moment. They must've not been prepared for the downpour.



It rained and thundered for 2 days. It was nice to sleep in and be lazy together... I forgot how much fun it was.. to just do... nothing. Monday we took family pictures in the hot sun, Tuesday we got a day out at the pool at a nearby condo. It had a lazy river. The coolest ever!



We went out on a date that night at Cobalt... yummy expensive little place.



Wednesday, Derrick went out and fished with his dad and brother, while me and Stevi went and got the boys Fish tacos for lunch.


 I packed up and we headed out after D got a shower. I had to be back at work the next day. Wahhh. I got a sweet note from my temp that worked while I was on vacation.



My animals sure did miss eachother. Budman was with the dogsitter all week and poor Rusty was by himself.


Derrick got to come home the weekend after! We spent the weekend on the river together. We decided to take Bama with us since we missed him sooo much.


Monday, June 18, 2012

“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded” Hebrews 10:35



Derrick and I are approaching our 1 year anniversary of him starting his journey as a Kia Production Team Member in Georgia. As that date creeps up, we have to make a very important life decision... I'm moving. I have yet to find a job, and a place for us to live. There is absolutely NOTHING to rent around that area and the job market there is pretty grim.  It's going to be really tough, but we need to be together.


#1-- MOVING WITHOUT A JOB-- I am always been a very independent woman. I don't like to ask for money, if I can't afford it, I won't buy it. I have always worked and paid my own bills. To this day I have yet to ask Derrick to pay any of my bills. With living apart and having two separate households comes with two separate bills. I am afraid to rely on Derrick or ask him for money--he's my HUSBAND--I shouldn't feel this way. I figured, with the my next couple of paychecks I could get some things paid off, my credit card, and the next 6 or so hair appointments so I don't have to worry about money so much. I have gone to the grocery store and started hoarding shampoo, makeup, tanning lotion, and all sorts of odds and ends that comes with me. All that stuff really adds up, so I figured I would collect all this stuff for when I do move without a job and I don't have to worry about getting money from Derrick or picking at my savings account--God knows I hate touching it. I have just been frazzled with this move and not having a job.


#2-- I LOVE MY JOB-- The other day my boss asked me when I was leaving because he already had a replacement lined up. It absolutely broke my heart. I love my job, I couldn't imagine having a better work environment. I would be absolutely JEALOUS of whomever took my position. We are moving offices this summer and I want to be a part of it so bad. I wanted a new office space and a room to call my own =[. Perhaps I will stay until after the move so I can at least enjoy it some.


#3-- RENT or BUY? Where Derrick lives it is quite impossible to find a place that doesn't have an ugly trailer with junk in the yard for your neighbor. You can find the cutest house and WHAM there is your ugly sore thumb of a would-be neighbor. Derrick and I did find a house that was a foreclosure in a subdivision that was super cute and fairly new. Perfect size, area (two minutes from the lake), and it's in a subdivision. Finding a subdivision where he lives is quite rare. There just isn't any. It is impossible to find something to rent down there. It is either way to expensive or in the bad part of town. We also have to find something suitable for my animal baggage. Preferably something with a fenced in yard. I don't think we're being too picky, the availability is just nill.


Throughout the Bible, we have examples of how God suddenly showed Himself strong on behalf of His people. But sometimes when we’ve struggled in an area for a long time, it’s easy to just give up and accept things the way they are. One of the enemy’s favorite lies is to tell you that nothing is ever going to change. He’ll tell you that you’re never going to get well, that your marriage isn’t going to work out, that you’re never going to break that addiction. But I want to tell you today, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been in those circumstances, God can change things in an instant! In a split second of time, He can turn it all around. One touch of God’s power can heal your body. One touch of His favor can promote you. One touch of His goodness can solve that problem. Just one touch from Almighty God can instantly change your life.
My encouragement for today, keep believing, keep standing, and keep hoping. Don’t let the enemy drag your thoughts down because God is working behind the scenes. Your time is coming, and I declare that your breakthrough is going to happen suddenly — in an instant!

How you feel about yourself affects every relationship you are in.

Loving your life. Don't minimize the power of normal things that transpire that happen in every day life.

We can be enthusiatic and exciting about what goes on, even the little things. Alot of people don't like their because it's too normal. I wish I had your life, I wish I had your body, I wish I had that car.  Ask God, and it will come at the right time in your life and won't come through your struggle or your effort but by the mercy of God. I should enjoy where I'm at on the way I'm going. I'm looking for change in me from God for the changes in my life.  It's foolish not to enjoy yourself while God is changing me.

I'm attracted to what I don't have. Enjoy your self, your life, and the people in it.



You may have people in your life you should have never been around so if you can get away from them and if you have to be around them then find something about them you do like.

If you impress people to impress yourself you won't be able to serve people you will only do things that seem important because you think you will get your worth and value from doing so.  You are doing being the scenes that God has told you to do you have an equal reward from God. 

The less you think about yourself, the happier you will be.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Country Living at it's finestttt...

Derrick and I have to find a job ASAP somewhere... I almost didn't leave his house yesterday.  I could stay there forever! I could def save money buy not shopping. The place where he lives, they don't have garbage pick up.. so you have to go miles down the road to a place where dumpsters are to drop off your garbage. Sounds like a pain in the ass? Yes, because it is. It's so weird... I feel like I'm in a uncivilized country.. "the country...backwoods that is". The only stores that they have are these country gas stations like Mrs. J's in Trinity, and Dollar General. No Walmart... you have to drive a good ways for that. There are trailer parks everrrrywhere and have HUGE Churches that are brand new. I don't understand it. I thought I grew up in the woods.... no... this is a whole different experience.  This makes Moulton look like Huntsville.



Derrick and I went for a drive in his new truck!  It's sooo pretty! We get to switch whenever he gets a chance to come home! I can't wait! I'm really excited about it! Saturday, we drove around looking for yardsales... they don't have subdivisions so it was difficult to find.



While Derrick was at work Saturday, I found civilization, and I went and got my nails done a pretty gold glitter color to match my shoes for Karey's wedding this coming weekend.





I went to Target in Opelika (30 miles away) and spent hours deciding between 3 comforter sets and ended up buying one I didnt even consider because it was on clearance! I got to buy more things for our house in Beulah with the extra money.  His bathroom is now matchy matchy! It looks soooo masculine, I can't stand it!! I'm so antique shabby chic this is the opposite of my style.. completely!!!







Sunday we went to see American Pie Reunion--didn't disappoint. It was actually pretty funny! We drove around Auburn for a little white.  The place where we met is no longer standing--The Highlands.  It may have been torn down for years but we just noticed it.  We ate dinner at Niffer's and I got the same meal I always get there.. the chicken breast light! I really wanted a fishbowl but decided that it would be a bad idea to drive back to Decatur afterwards.

Monday, April 9, 2012

I need a vacation every month...

The interview in Lagrange was a JOKE. I left the class early just because I have never wasted more time or money in my life on something so ridiculous.  After learning how to use a screwdriver and a wrench I was told that this was a 12 hour shift job (already knew that) non-rotating shifts (meaning if you start on nights you will forever be on nights- 6:30pm-6:30am) and 7 DAYS A WEEK. Meaning that I would be working 80+ hours on a salary job with no off day and no overtime.  I can barely get through a 40 hour week. I came home and spent the day with my honey before having to drive back.

Derrick decided that we are going to start looking for a new vehicle.  We went from buying a nice reasonably priced used car to an Avalanche we brought home on Saturday.  Derrick's plan is for me to drive the Avalanche around town and he take my car since he's the one who does all the driving.  Well, now he just found he will be working the next 8 Saturdays. So, it looks like I'll be the one to go see him. Which is okay, since I have the sweetest friends who have agreed to watch the animals and housesit for me while I visit the hubs.  I just wasn't ready to take Buddy on a roadtrip, I don't think he's ready either. That would be TORTURE. I couldn't imagine him being in the car for that long and not freaking out and being drugged.  Buddy hates storms, I have to give him a valium or two just so "I" can sleep. His big butt "tries" to get in the bed with me... he's too old to jump on the bed. I thought I was going to have to drug buddy this weekend when Derrick decided to blow his nose in the shower, Buddy trembled, panted like crazy, and did circles around me... I guess he thought the shower sounded like rain, and his nose blowing sounded like thunder. Crazy dog.

I'm going to Charleston next week with my best friend Louie, to be in another best friend's wedding!! I have never been to Charleston, so this will be an adventure.  I'm really excited to go. We are staying in a really big house from Wednesday-Sunday on a Golf Course. I'm so excited to go on a road trip with the bff!



Derrick and I are planning our next vacation in June.  I want to leave this country or go somewhere one more time. We can stay at a 3 bedroom condo for $100 a day plus cleaning fee in Gulf Shores. We have to find another couple to go with us... or we're skipping town for a few days that week.  I wouldn't mind going on a cruise, since Derrick and I have never been on one. I really want to have a nice vacation since Derrick won't be able to have a week like this off until Christmas... that is if he doesn't find a job at home.  I want Derrick to come home ohhhh so bad. 

I'm taking a break from trying to find a job down there... all these interviews are killing my paycheck and I really need the money if we keep deciding to go on vacation.

Friday, March 30, 2012

Wedding Day has come and gone...

Romans 12:12

"Let your hope make you glad. Be patient in time of trouble and never stop praying."



My wedding day was absolutely perfect. I am so blessed to have all these amazing people that care about seeing Derrick and I so happy. It may have rained a little bit, but the umbrella made for cute pictures. Derrick and I got to be a part of the Mardi Gras parade downtown (it was their first ever) and we danced in front of the firetruck!

Our honeymoon was even more perfect. We got to meet some pretty awesome people from Mass. and spent pretty much the whole week with them and every dinner. We sat next to them on the plane and they were staying at the same resort at the building next door to us in the club section. How amazing was that? Derrick and I got to go parasailing, swimming with dolphins, deep sea fishing, snorkeling on three different reefs, goshhh... there's seems like there's more. We were like the ultimate tourists.  I cant wait to have another week off to just be with him. I want to spend every moment with him.

 Everyday gets a little bit harder for me and it breaks my heart piece by piece by each passing moment. Talking to him on the phone just isn't good enough for me. I need to physically be with him. It's so hard to do with having all these animals with us. I've got Bama and Buddy to watch over and nobody but my parents to help me. They come all the way from South Carolina on the weekends just to help me. It's not fair to them or me. I just need a little bit more help while our lives in such chaos.

Derrick and I are now both on the job hunt.. whoever wins first that's where we'll move.  Well...I had an interview at Wyle Lab in Madison yesterday. I didn't feel confident that it would be a forever job, I felt that there was too much of an opportunity to be laid off. Outstanding money.. but what is that when you get laid off within 6 months and can't even apply for unemployment benefits. Yeaaa.. didn't take it.

I have a two day class in Lagrange, GA on Monday and Tuesday. After the class, I have to take a test on Tuesday to move up to the next and final interview for the job.  Awesome money on this one too! I'll be wearing steel toe boots, and a hard hat to work everyday, working 12 hour shifts. Sounds like a dude job, but you know what...I don't mind it at all if it means being able to be with my HUSBAND-- bet you like the label drop ;)--

Derrick is still applying like a crazy person... it would be so much easier for him to move up here than it would be for me to move down there... I have animal baggage... and he has a roommate. AWKWARDDD.

We'll get it figured out... it will just take some time, a little faith in God, and lots of hope.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Happy Birthday to me.




I've got 25 more days until the wedding. I have 2 days until my birthday. I have worked myself in a funky mood for the past several days and I just can't seem to get out of it. I worked out religiously, attempted to eat better... and I still look the way I do. My bridal portraits were yesterday and I just didn't feel pretty... I felt pudgy. I am not happy with myself and I thought that this wedding would be the only motivation I needed to look the way I wanted too. I'm depressed, such a stupid word, but I am. I never dreamed that I would look this way on my wedding day... I wanted to be the princess bride... a skinny one. My birthday is this week and it's always a day I look forward too...but I'm not.  I'm going to be alone for the first time in years. Nobody wants to be alone on their birthday, but I have worked myself in such a crappy mood, I kind of want to sit alone on my birthday.
I just want to be with Derrick on my birthday, or every day. I want to be able to get married and look forward to our future together... we won't live together. For the sake of our marriage I just can't put that financial burden of me not having a job and living with him... we might kill each other.

All details to this wedding have not been finalized and it's driving me crazy. I had a caterer, a menu, and was on my way to take to the deposit within a day or so of finalizing everything with my parents. Then, last weekend the chef called me to make sure that I had signed the contract, and I told him that I had not signed the contract and I was going come up the next day (Monday). He said he was sorry for the misunderstanding but he was calling also for another favor. He wanted to know if I could give him $60 dollars in return for an $80 dollar check for the inconvenience. He explained to me that he had just opened up a bank account here and didn't have a debit card and only had the kind of checks where you fill in your name. Like a dumb ass, I agreed. I met him at the bank and gave him $60 dollars and he reassured me that the check would clear and there was nothing for me to worry about. It cleared... for about 3 days and then was taken out of my account for a returned check, along with a dozen fees, leaving me with $-0.14 cents in my bank account. I called his cellphone about to have a major bitch fit... his mother answered his cell phone.  She asked me what the phone call was regarding and of course I said a bad check he wrote me and I want my money back. She said, "Oh no, you're another one of his victims." ...VICTIMS?? WHAAAA?? She then went on to explain that he tried to kill his roommate and overdosed on Sunday night. They found him the next day in the backyard and sent him to Decatur General where they then transferred him to Birmingham. Once he was conscious, he refused treatment and they dropped him off at a Salvation Army. Nobody has heard from him, nor knows where he is. I have to find a new caterer within 25 days of my wedding. WTF. I called the police and they came to my house and I filed charges against him... needless to say, there is a warrant out for his arrest.

I'm broke. I don't have any money, and I don't know what to do this close to the wedding. Pure panic is starting to kick in.

Happy Birthday to me.

Monday, January 16, 2012

WEDDING...WEDDING..

The wedding is getting closer, and I'm getting more freaked out by the minute.There is so much to be done it's not even funny.
Our couples shower was this weekend and I couldn't have asked for better friends, a better time, or better gifts.  I am so blessed to have what I have.

My bridal portraits are this coming weekend and right now there is a 40% chance of rain.. BOOOO!

Next Wednesday is my birthday,

then the following weekend Derrick comes home to celebrate it, along with my parents... and that Sunday is my bridal Tea..

then my bachelorette trip in NASHVILLE!!

Then I get a weekend off to get prepped and ready for the BIG HUGE DAY the following weekend.

Derrick's ring came in... it's amazing. It has a few minor tweekings to do and one day I'll get him a better ring but right now our honeymoon is priority 1... COZUMEL!! We booked our honeymoon at The Sabor Resort. It's amazing.. it has a lazy river coming from our room! Adults only! All inclusive! SOOOO EXCITED!
When we get back from our honeymoon... Derrick has to move. His lease is up on his apartment and someone else has already rented it. He knew it was already leased when he moved in it in July. So Derrick is getting a roommate in a brand new duplex in the same po dunk town... His roomie has a pet tarantula. I'm not cool with that at ALL. It'll save us a bunch of money until we get our lives figured out a little more. So to everyone's question... No, we will not be living together when we get married.